| Katherine: | I'm watching too much Melrose Place. I must have had an allergic reaction to something because there's a small rash on my wrist. I found and last night and thought, "No big deal. I just show it to Michael at work tomorrow." Then I realized that I neither work at Wilshire Memorial Hospital nor with Dr. Michael Mancini. I need a life. |
| Christine: | I would trust Dr. Kimberly Shaw more than Michael. |
| Katherine: | Please, Michael may be vindictive and conniving, but at least he's a smart and tenacious doctor. Kimberly is crazy-like holes in head and maternal delusions crazy. I'll take Michael's medical opinion over hers any day. |
Seek Proper Medical Care
| Katherine: | Watching the first episode of Melrose is like seeing a lost episode of 90210! |
| Christine: | The first season doesn't get good until Amanda shows up around the 21st episode. Sydney makes a guest appearance in episode 19, but she becomes a regular in the second season and is the second banana bitch next to Amanda. And you have to think Allison and Billy are boring characters. It's a rule in the land of Melrose Place. |
| Katherine: | I don't know who Allison and Billy are yet. The guy from Desperate Housewives wears Cross Colors like I did. Makes me feel like less of a poser. |
Once upon a time, Daddy 007 met and wed Sarah Palin. Later he cheated on Sarah with Yankee Mom. Sarah proceeded to (thankfully) dump Daddy 007 while her daughter extended her fifteen minutes of fame on TV.
When you pretend you're engaged via Facebook
| Katherine: | who are you engaged to? that guy the Hubs liked? |
| Katherine: | he'll be so excited to have a new homey if so |
| Christine: | i'm going to marry lisa's little brother |
| Christine: | we've decided |
| Christine: | we're getting married in vegas, but i have to wait for little kim to turn 21 |
| Katherine: | yikes, he is little |
| Christine: | age ain't nothing but a number |
| Christine: | listen to aliayah |
| Katherine: | yeah, but she said that because she was diddiling r kelly |
| Katherine: | who's a kiddie fiddler i might add |
| Katherine: | so maybe age does mean something |
| Katherine: | you will have jon and kate plus 8 looking babies |
| Katherine: | hopefully not 8 of them though |
| Christine: | we're not having babies |
| Katherine: | ok |
| Katherine: | probably for the best since your biological clocks will be so out of sync |
In Daddy 007 news, Teri Hatcher was hot and Dean Cain is gay.
Lack of Turtle Power
| Scene: | Husband and wife in Target. |
| Katherine: | Can I please buy you this ninja turtles shirt? |
| Jason: | No, I'm too old for that. |
| Katherine: | It's called nostalgia. It's vintage. |
| Jason: | I didn't even like the ninja turtles as a kid. |
| Katherine: | What?! Why are we even married? |
| Jason: | Because you needed to increase your cool factor. |
We are dead serious when we have these conversations.
Jason: What kind of roller rink has a live band in it?
Katherine: An awesome one.
Jason: And more importantly, why don’t you have a denim one-piece like that?
Katherine: Uh, it’s called a jumpsuit.
Christine: I don’t anticipate getting married for a long time. I’m a lone wolf.
Katherine: Does that mean I get to call you Alan now?
Gersh gurndy morn-dee burn-dee, burn-dee, amish-amish-amish-amish
| Christine: | i didn't see that movie amish grace |
| Katherine: | oh, i assumed that you had watched it because you sent me the e-mail |
| Christine: | no, i'm pretty sure i know what happens at the end of that movie |
| Christine: | the amish lady forgives the modern woman |
| Christine: | because she has god in her heart |
| Christine: | the end |
| Katherine: | true |
| Katherine: | maybe the modern lady becomes amish as an added touchy-feely moment |
| Christine: | no, but i bet they become friends |
| Christine: | and lecture people about violence |
| Christine: | and brad paisley sings a song at the end since it starred his wife |
| Katherine: | did that really happen? they really became public speakers and friends? |
| Christine: | no |
| Katherine: | i didn't think amish people could mix would the modern people |
| Christine: | but it would be touchy-feely |
| Katherine: | true |
| Christine: | but they sell jams and furniture to them |
| Katherine: | maybe smuckers sponsored the movie and ikea |
| Katherine: | there might be amish swedes |
| Christine: | named sven ezekiel |
| Katherine: | they speak and swedish-german dialect |
| Katherine: | they should have had that muppet instead of the swedish chef |
Rosie O’Donnell, you reading this? We want to be your friend.
